The joy of cockroaches...

The most important person in my life isn't here... she's far away. And I haven't seen her in years. Maybe 18 years. I would give a lot to be even an hour away. I think I'd get insight and advice and encouragement from her that I'd want to drink in daily like the MacAlister's  unsweetened tea that used to have me in it's grip.

She's important to me because, through her blog... the most beautiful blog I've ever seen (http://waistingaway.wordpress.com/2010/10/21/roaches-make-me-happy/#comment-876) I have lived her life, or as much of it as she'd let me. And I've realized a lot of things about me - good and bad. I admire her in more ways than I've admired almost anyone in all my 47 years of life.

Ironically, her name is Karen, too. But right now, at this very moment in time, except for knowing completely the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, there is little else we share. A year or two ago there were a lot of things that we could discuss that we'd laugh about and realize the commonality in all of it. But her world has since been turned upside down and well only I am upside down. Interestingly, I get the impression that in spite of her world she is anything but upside down; she's standing firmly on her own two feet.

I know, if she were to comment on any of this she would remind me that it's not her that is standing so firmly but the Holy Spirit in her which is all the more reason that she is important to me. When I read what she writes I know that everything about her is focused on Christ. I know that the perspective she takes daily is because Christ lives in her and I know that she lives an "in spite of" life because she has an eternal perspective that has left her free of the hindered life. She has walked through the narrow gate and down the narrow road and although I know that there were times she was teetering on the edge, she persevered and has since found her balance and no longer looks to the left or to the right but straight into the eyes of Jesus.

She has encouraged me in more ways than time allows me to say. One thing though, I am taking more pictures. She is a masterful photog and I marvel at her work. I can produce occasionally good pictures of my kids and the shocking "Wow, that picture turned out pretty good" photograph once or twice a year, but she... well, she's amazing. And she's artsy-craftsy, in the way I wish I was. She's made me want to have pictures of things that bring me joy on my hard drive just to have around "in case". So I spent my very early morning taking pictures of stuff that may be meaningless to you but not so much to me. Or pictures that I know I will want to place strategically in my future blog posts.

I hope she sees my adding more pictures to my blog as a compliment to her and not as "copying". Nah, she won't even consider it from a negative perspective... I think she'll be happy for me that I am storing pictures away to bring me joy later. I think she will be really happy to know that what she thinks are her simple words about her struggles with life, the joys, the pain, the adventures, the inconveniences, all give me in a very odd way, a glimmer of hope that when all is said and done I too will wake up one morning and be able to find happiness in cockroaches.